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Waltzing Australia

WALTZING AUSTRALIA
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Saturday, March 17, 2012

40. St. Patrick's Day

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh

Well now, today is March the 17th - Saint Patrick's Day and as there are many Australians with an Irish background, here's a bit of Irish humour.

 
Above: Paddy's Irish Bar
(Photo take in Kalgoorlie)

Why did the Irishman wear 2 condoms? " To be sure, to be sure "

Paddy and Murphy are on a cruise ship.
Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight".
Murphy says "Everyone will be watching the band".
Paddy says "There isn't a band playing tonight".
Murphy says "I definitely heard some fellow say "A band on ship"!

Paddy Murphy arrived at Tullamarine airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An old Aussie bloke asked him if he was homesick.
"No", replied the Irishman. "It's worse, I have I've lost all me luggage"
"That's terrible, how did that happen?"
"The cork fell out of me bottle" Said Paddy

"How far is it to the next village?" asked the American tourist. "It's about seven miles," guessed the farmer. "But it's only five if you run"

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

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